"Royals" - The Lorde of the Rings Parody
For some musicians, a true measure of success is when and how quickly your hit song is parodied. During the 80's and 90's this was the exclusive domain of the genius of Weird Al Yankovic. Here in the second decade of Web 2.0 and the early years of instant memedom, it is individuals powered by the hive mind of the Internet that are spinning off yrical and often full blown recorded parodies of popular songs at ludicrous speed. Such is the case with "Lorde of the Rings".
Barely awake from last night's session of going offline for a few hours, I had to rub my eyes to make sure what I was reading on Reddit this morning was as funny as it seemed in my pre-caffeinated state. The following are parody lyrics of Lorde's international hit, "Royals", as written by redditor, ConsiderThisAnInsult.
UPDATE: The redditor behind this originally wrote only the first portion of the song, but has now completed it!
Vs
I've never seen a halfling in the flesh
I cut my teeth on evil rings in the movies
And I'm not proud of my address,
In a torn-up shire, no hobbit hole envy
But every song's like Orc stench, green dragon, trippin' in the Bag End
Blood stains, wizard gowns, stabbin' up on Weathertop,
We don't care, we're driving carriages in our dreams.
But everybody's like Ringwraith, Sauron, throw it down in Mt. Doom.
Dwarf axe, Moria, Gollum on a gold leash.
We don't care, we aren't caught up in your dwarf affair.
Chorus
And we'll never be royals (royals).
It don't run in our blood,
'Cept for Aragorn, my lord.
We crave a different kind of gourd.
Let me be your halfling (halfling),
You can call me Frodo B
And baby I'll rule, I'll rule, I'll rule, I'll rule.
Tolkien wrote that fantasy.
Vs
My fellowship—we've cracked the code.
We count our pennies on the trail to Bilbo's party.
And everyone who knows us knows that we're fine with this,
We only came for ale and cheese.
But every song's like Salt Pork, Saruman, hurry or we're Orc food.
Elf ears, Fanghorn, Gollum on a gold leash.
We don't care, we aren't caught up in your dwarf affair.
But every elf’s like Elrond, Lórien, lembas in your satchel.
Narsil, Nazgul, Shelob with her sharp teeth
We don’t care, we aren’t caught in your elf affair
Chorus
And we'll never be royals (royals).
It don't run in our blood,
'Cept for Aragorn, my lord.
Shards of Narsil made a sword.
Let me be your halfling (halfling),
You can call me Frodo B
And baby I'll rule, I'll rule, I'll rule, I'll rule.
Tolkien wrote that fantasy.
Br
Ooh ooh oh
We're shorter than we ever dreamed,
And I'm in love with talking trees.
Ooh ooh oh
Life is great although it’s dire
Throw that ring into the fire.
Chorus
And we'll never be royals (royals).
It don't run in our blood,
'Cept for Aragorn, my king.
Arwen loves his Strider thing
Let me be your halfling (halfling),
You can call me Frodo B
And baby I'll rule, I'll rule, I'll rule, I'll rule.
Tolkien wrote that fantasy.
As a fan of the original song and of J.R.R. Tolkien's classic novel, I must give ConsiderThisAnInsult this, one of the highest accolades one denizen of the cyber world can bestow upon another. What needs to happen now is a Kickstarter campaign to get Weird Al to license these lyrics and record the song properly.
Image parody via redditor sourcreamjunkie and this tumblr.
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